Learning from the mistakes of others helps you to improve.
Following superior advice helps you to perfect.
Further reading : How to Dress as a Woman?
What happens when you can refine improvement?
You will discover it by reading, as you will find two examples of cover letters:
Read also : How to download an app?
- The worst cover letter, which contains the 10 most serious mistakes you could make (if you know them, you can avoid them)
- The best cover letter, which puts into practice the 10 most important tips it needs (if you know them, follow them)
What are you waiting for?
So, we will better explain why starting with an example of a letter full of mistakes.
On one point, you will agree:
The cover letter must be part of your survival kit if you want to successfully search for a job.
No one can afford to make mistakes; the stakes are too high to lose that just because you lack experience.
Most of the worst mistakes in the cover letter of the CV are made due to lack of experience.
In other words:
You simply think you are doing things the best way because you don’t know that other ways exist.
This must change:
Given the competitiveness of the job market, the “trial and error” method you must leave behind is no longer for you.
Are you wondering how to do it?
There is a practical and quick way: leverage the mistakes of others.
To do this, we start with a negative example of a cover letter:
You will find all the most common mistakes pointed out by screeners in the cover letters attached to CVs.
But since mistakes alone can say little, you will also find brief explanations highlighting what the mistake is at that precise moment.
After seeing an example of how not to write a cover letter for the Curriculum, we will instead see a positive model, which reverses the mistakes and puts the best advice into practice – briefly illustrated as well!
Note:
The examples of letters are valid for both a spontaneous application and a letter sent in response to an advertisement: the few differences that are there we see as a hand.
So let’s start right away with the first example of a cover letter!
The example of the introduction letter that will make you fail (the model not to follow)
We will follow the adventures of our hero for this article, the good James:
We can all recognize ourselves in him; he made the mistakes we all made, and he corrected them, as we should all do.
So:
Our Giacomo must write a cover letter in response to an advertisement for a digital marketing job.
He wrote a first draft of the cover letter but did not send it because he was not sure he had done it well.
Instead, he sent it to one of his friends who works as a screener: a wise move.
His friend read it and marked the parts where he made mistakes: let’s see them too!
Giacomo Rossi – Milan {1} [email protected] {2}
To whom it may concern {3},
sending my CV attached, because I think I am the candidate you are looking for {4} I.
I have always had a passion for digital marketing, even though I could not dive into it as much as I wanted during my studies (after high school, I obtained a three-year degree in economics and a master’s in political science) {5}.
I have gained a little experience in the traditional marketing industry for several companies {6}, but I am trying to enter the world of digital marketing, precisely because of the passion that has always drawn me to this sector {7}.
I think that your company could be the ideal place to turn my position and my springboard into a fast career in marketing {8}.
Given my previous activity in another sector, I still do not have direct experience in digital marketing, but I am sure that with my enthusiasm and passion I can fill this gap in no time!
Sincerely, {10}
James Rossi
Let’s analyze this letter.
The letter revealed: the negative example
Let’s examine the letter step by step with the good James to understand in each sentence where he went wrong and why.
- {1} Giacomo Rossi – Milan
The personal data is incomplete. There is no phone number or address. Is there really a need to complicate life for the screener?
The email address almost comments on itself. And it’s not a positive comment. Giacomo needs a new email address, a professional one.
- {3} To whom it may concern
Who knows if James really did everything he could to find a name to attribute the cover letter to. He should have it, as he knows that personalizing a marketing email allows for better response statistics than a non-personalized email. If it works for selling, it works for everything.
- {4} I am sending my CV attached,because I think I am the candidate you are looking for.
Every specific reference to a job offer is absent. This means that Giacomo was so apathetic that he didn’t take 10 seconds to write the name and code of the job offer – which is bad. Or that he is sending exactly the same cover letter to 100 different companies – which is worse. If he was a self-taught person, Giacomo should have been required to indicate a specific position to apply for!
- {5} (after high school, I obtained a degree in economics and a master’s in political science).
Giacomo decided to tell the story of his studies: degree, bachelor’s, and master’s. But what does this information tell the screener, what added value can it bring? Almost nothing, and James wasted two lines of the cover letter saying something that is not fundamental.
- {6} I have gained a little experience in the traditional marketing sector for different companies
More vague than what James could not be. And instead, you need precision, you need details, you need numbers. How many years of experience? In what role, in which companies? What results did he achieve? James will need to be guided by these questions when he rewrites the cover letter.
- {7} but I am trying to enter the world of digital marketing, precisely because of the passion that has always drawn me to this sector.
Too many words, and too few facts. Giacomo should add some details that demonstrate his true passion, reference to a niche blog, a specific product, or challenges that characterize the industry – those details that only a true enthusiast knows.
- {8} I think that your company could be the ideal place to turn my position and my springboard into a fast career in marketing.
Of course, that’s exactly the case. But James is already convinced that this position suits him; it’s the opposite that still needs to be verified. By focusing solely on his point of view, Giacomo misses the opportunity to communicate to the company the added values he can bring. I mean, the reasons why the company should call him!
- {9} Given my previous activities in another sector, I still do not possess
In addition to having no experience in digital marketing, Giacomo cannot ride a horse and is a bad chess player. But none of these three things should be highlighted in the cover letter. It’s a waste of space to apologize for the experience that does not yet exist. Experience can be acquired, but other qualities are much more important: they are what Giacomo should focus on – to sell himself better.
- {10} Sincerely
“Sincerely” is a mistake? No, James’s mistake is not what he wrote, but what he didn’t write. Perhaps he forgot the purpose of the cover letter: to convince the screener to read his CV. By concluding this way, without any call to action, James has halved the effectiveness of his letter – a mistake he won’t have to make again.
So, James seems gloomy about his first introduction letter:
It didn’t go so well; fortunately, he didn’t send it!
Now, he must make the most of his mistakes.
How?
He makes a decalogue of the worst mistakes…
The 10 capital mistakes of the letter
- The personal data is incomplete and/or incorrect
- The email address is not professional
- The recipient is absent – missing personalization
- The reference to the position you are responding to (or applying for, in the case of a spontaneous application) is missing
- Irrelevant details take up too much space
- The experiences are recounted without details
- Motivation is professed only in words
- The business perspective is not taken into account
- Missing experience is highlighted
- The call to action is non-existent
To these 10 mistakes of the cover letter, you can add another:
Poor writing.
Is that it?
Refusal, grammatical errors, misplaced apostrophes and accents:
All these elements render the content of the letter almost ineffective.
So many mistakes ruined it before they even got to the content.
Well, now our hero can be satisfied.
Why?
Because now it is clearly clear the mistakes he made, so he decides to rewrite the letter again…
… not before reading a complete guide on how to write a good cover letter.
Giacomo tried and made mistakes.
Now, he has studied and is ready to try again!
The business letter template that will get you a job (example to follow)
So here is the new example of a cover letter for a company:
The advertisement Giacomo is responding to is still the same – the position of Digital Marketing Manager at Fratelli Bianchi Srl, an offer found while he was job hunting in Milan.
As with the previous one, after writing this new cover letter, James is waiting to send it and asks his screener friend to review it!
So here is the new example!
This time, the best tactics used to write the cover letter have been highlighted.
James Rossi Via Alta, 30 — 20100 Milan Tel: 39 333/1234567 Email: [email protected] {1}
March 15, 20XX
Dr. Simona Neri HR Manager Fratelli Bianchi Srl Via Bassa, 5 – 20100 Milan {2}
Dear Dr. Neri,
I would like to submit my application for your polite attention in response to the advertisement for the role of Digital Marketing Manager (Cod. Rif AB1234) at Fratelli Bianchi Srl, published on Jobbydoo.it on March 10. {3}
I am a very organized professional, and at the same time equipped with flexibility, and strongly passionate about the field of digital marketing – I always follow the latest updates from Moz and HubSpot {4}: all the articles that your offer indicates as a priority for this position. {5}
As you will learn more in my attached CV {6}, I have honed my knowledge through experience gained in similar roles.
In fact, after 2 years at the Communication Office at Marketing&Friends, I held the position of Marketing Manager at Marketing&Children for 4 years: I work independently at every stage of the marketing process, and I also lead and manage the Marketing team, consisting of 5 people. {7}
Joining Fratelli Bianchi Srl would be an excellent opportunity to contribute to the development and consolidation of the company’s online presence while developing my professional and personal skills in an inspiring context. {8}
Thank you for your courteous attention, I invite you to contact me for feedback and remain available immediately for an informed interview. {9}
Sincerely,
James Rossi 39 333/1234567[email protected] {10}
Giacomo’s kind screener friend highlighted the reasons why this is an example of a winning cover letter.
She also told him to understand what he was doing right, because a third letter he won’t correct it 😉
The detailed anatomy of the cover letter:
Let’s also examine this example of a cover letter step by step:
- {1} Giacomo Rossi Via Alta, 30 — 20100 Milan Tel: 39 333/1234567 Email: [email protected]
The contact details are correct and complete. And the email address is perfect, simple, and professional.
- {2} March 15, 20XX Dr. Simona Neri Head of HR Fratelli Bianchi Srl Via Bassa, 5 – 20100 Milan
Giacomo did his homework. He dug in and managed to find a recipient, the right recipient. And as an additional element of personalization of the cover letter, he added the date.
- {3} advertisement for the role of Digital Marketing Manager (Cod. Rif AB1234) at Fratelli Bianchi Srl, published on Jobbydoo.it on March 10.
Perfect, Giacomo puts all the details he can serve to clarify to the screener what position he is interested in within the company. These elements are as follows:
- Open the title of the position
- Reference code of the position
- Company offering the job
- Where he found the job advertisement
- The date on which he saw it
If this were an example of a cover letter for a generic spontaneous application, the details of the offer would not be there, but in any case, he would indicate what role he wants to fill within the company. Submitting a spontaneous application or not without putting this element is like throwing away your CV – and your own time.
- {4} organized, and at the same time equipped with flexibility, and strongly passionate about the field of digital marketing – I always follow the latest updates from Moz and HubSpot
In the first paragraph, James now puts his best strengths, which he wants to aim for and thinks can set him apart from the crowd. Use the available space only for the best of himself.
- {5} all the articles that your offer lists as a priority for this position.
There is no room for misunderstandings: Giacomo clearly highlights the link between his superior qualities and the company’s requirements, as written in the job advertisement. In the case of a cover letter for a spontaneous application, this point is missing: but useful information can be found on the company’s website, social networks, public profiles of those who already work in the company of our interest. This information can allow us to understand what type of qualities are required or well-seen: Giacomo would have referred to those in a spontaneous application!
- {6} As you will learn more in my attached CV
A soft call to action: Giacomo doesn’t say “Now you must read my CV!”, but with this mention of the CV, he gently invites the screener to read it. The words are different, the goal is the same.
- {7} In fact, after 2 years at the Communication Office at Marketing&Friends, I held the position of Marketing Director at Marketing&Children for 4 years: I work independently at every stage of the marketing process, and in addition, I have the management and responsibility of the Marketing team, consisting of 5 people.
A quick overview of past experiences in this case is perfect. Perfect because they are relevant experiences, which can greatly affect the screener’s judgment. James puts little detail, but fundamental:
- The role he held
- The company with which he gained the experience
- The duration of this job
Moreover – but only for the last experience, the most important – Giacomo decided to add more details, precise and relevant.
But if you need an example of a cover letter without experience, in this paragraph, you could put the most significant details of your studies. On the other hand, if you have never worked, your main strength lies in what you have studied!
- {8} an excellent opportunity to contribute to the development and consolidation of the company’s online presence while developing my professional and personal skills in a stimulating context.
James did not forget his previous mistake and changed the perspective. Now, in the first position, it’s what the company can expect from him, and the benefits it would have in hiring him. Only later does Giacomo move on to the benefits he would have from working in this company.
- {9} Thank you for your courteous attention, I invite you to contact me for feedback and remain available immediately for an informed interview.
At the end of the cover letter, there must be a call to action. James already put a slight one in the middle of the letter – the invitation to read the CV. Now, the invitation is evident, and it aims to receive feedback from the screener, and possibly an appointment for the interview. He also did not forget his manners, putting his ritual thanks at the end of the letter.
- {10} Giacomo Rossi 39 333/1234567
The screener reads the entire letter and arrives at the end wanting to call this James, and here he immediately finds the contacts that allow him to do so right away. Excellent move by Giacomo, who paves the way for the examiner – and especially the call or email he will make!
And here’s a look at this example of a cover letter.
Giacomo is satisfied: now he can send his letter!
But first, since James is scheduled, a new decalogue is created with the best tips for the cover letter…
The 10 pillars that will improve your cover letter
- The contact details are professional and complete
- The recipient is specified – the letter is personalized
- The position for which you are applying is precise
- The strengths are highlighted
- The advertising relationship between personal professional skills is highlighted (or the relationship characteristics of the company-candidate, in the case of a spontaneous application)
- The call to action with CV references
- The previous experiences are detailed based on their relevance
- The company’s perspective is prioritized
- Thank you and call to action close the letter
- The contacts are repeated at the end of the cover letter
As you can see, the introduction letter of the good James has changed its face: now it is targeted, precise, professional – in other words, successful.
An example to follow!
Now it’s your turn!
It’s your turn:
You have the example of the winning cover letter, just as you have the example of everything you should not do in a cover letter.
But these are just examples:
It’s up to you to translate them into a letter that you won’t escape.
And remember:
The cover letter is only half the job.
You must pay the same attention to writing the CV!
Tag: the cover letter